When does it stop hurting?

Give yourself more credit. You've gotten this far. You just have to move on. Look, I know, easier said than done. However, the best thing to do in your case is move on. Talk to a very close friend(One that you can trust). Don't hold this burden to yourself. Move on and show him you have moved on. Once he recovers ,he'll probably realise his mistake. It's NOT your fault. It also isn't his. Everyone has feelings. Let him sort out his problem and if he loves you, he'll come back after he's done dealing with it. In my opinion, it would be much better if you concentrated on other things. You have your own loss to deal with. You are strong. Just keep remembering that. Like you said, you have plans and dreams. Everything happens for a reason. Good luck will come your way once you set your path. remember you pave the way. Try to find a way to release all this tension like do something you enjoy. Like sports, or a hobby.=) And I hope you find happiness.